No man ever loved me. Or maybe I truly never loved myself?
I have this inability to trust that my boyfriend loves me.I'm always hoping for some big gesture or signal that prove that I'm wrong.
I wish I could be in peace with myself and not needed for that kind of attention from him.
But I crave attention and love because I never felt it with my father.
I want to learn how to love myself, despite the others.
I love me. But I feel insecure nowadays.
I'm afraid of driving. I'm afraid of being incapable of doing my thesis.
I'm afraid of not getting a job in film/tv production.
I'm afraid of all the process of getting braces.
I want to learn how take care of myself. I want some guidance.
I want to do some yoga. I want to make up my face. I want to continue going to the gym.
I want to dress well and feel beautiful. I want to feel powerful and confident.
How do I do this?
I don't know what to do now. Maybe I need some time for myself, being single, to know myself.
Maybe I need to let the thesis for another year and focus on me and start looking for my dream job.
I don't know.
I don't know.
For the first time in my life I don't know what to do next.
After all, I'm still becoming a woman.
I just want to be a happy one.
